I'm a worrier. It come with my nature. From the littlest details such as spelling mistakes, I'm constantly worrying.
It's hard not to, when you're brought up in an environment where you have to decide whether to spend thousands of dollars on a university degree or go straight into a full-time job risking going through life without a degree. At age 17 how are we meant to apply for universities and colleges that will set us up with careers for the rest of our lives. How are we supposed to know what our true calling is if we haven't lived and seen the world yet?
All throughout your life you're asked what you want to be when you grow up - - an astronaut, a doctor, a ballerina, or a lawyer. Seemingly simple questions lead to a much bigger reality. You can't be any of these things without years of dedication, these jobs choose you before you apply to the universities, before you write the application forms. These jobs choose you when you're young. When you're first learning to count, or how to tie your shoelaces. I believe you've got a career out there that is set for you, and it's just waiting for you to find it.
Recently I've been wondering whether or not I'm studying the right degree. I'm studying a B. Exercise Science at UOW and although I know I want to go into health, and would love to be a doctor one day, it's only just hit me that this is a task that is destined for very few. Getting into medicine is my dream, but is it more of someone else's dream than mine? Am I meant to be a doctor? Am I meant to work in a hospital? These are the questions I've been asking myself as I'm surrounded by the "jocks of their days" students in a lecture hall. I'm surrounded by these people that aren't the same as me. They don't want the same things in life. They all want to be sports physiotherapists - but why? So they can meet their favourite football players? So they can earn the big bucks? I just don't understand.
I used to sit at the top of the stairs in my house, with a tupperware container full of bandaids, cotton buds, and antiseptic just watching my family waiting, waiting for someone to hurt themselves so I could be the first one there to help fix them up. I was 2.
University is hard, I'm not going to deny that. I would be lost without it. But sometimes I have to think whether I'm wasting my money and time on a degree that's going to leave me somewhere I don't want to be. Life is precious and I don't want to waste it.
The reality of going to the Graduate School of Medicine is by far the most difficult and terrifying thought I've had in a long time. Knowing that's where I want to be, and who I think I want to be. But only the top 12 domestic students in the B. Pre-Med course get interviews (ps theres ~200 people doing pre-med) it leaves me thinking that I'm just wasting time. That I'm never going to get to the point where I can be sitting there in front of the board members talking about my future in medicine.
But what if that is my future? Do I take the risk? Do I jump? The uncertainty leaves me filled with worry. I just don't know what to do
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Anything
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